I have devoted a fair amount of energy to feeling sorry for myself lately. This bedrest business has not been my cup of tea. I feel like someone hit pause on my well planned agenda while the world outside my window is carrying on as normal. Like everything is spinning out of my control.
But today...I feel blessed. A little change in my attitude has made a big difference. Granted I don't like pause, it is forcing me to step back a little. And I am reminded that it is all out of my control anyway. So I might as well take a deep breath and let it all unfold as it may. I am not charge and sometimes that is a good thing. ;)
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Blessed.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Bedrest
Seeing how I am confined to a queen size rectangle of space...it seems like as good a time as any to pick back up on the blogging.
Bedrest. Dr. ordered torture. I hate it.
I am trying to have a good attitude. And think of the little guy and how much it will all be worth it in the end. But really...I am over it. And a little bit bitter.
I mean...I was cruising alone just fine. Better than fine even. This pregnancy was a breeze compared to my first. Little to no vomitting. 14 hours days many days and I was doing A-ok. Work was going great. Dream job seemed to be in the pipe. Creeping up on law school graduation. Living the dream and thinking I could have a few more kids down the road.
WRONG.
25 weeks. Indescribable headache that would not go away. Skyhigh bloodpressure. Dr freaks. PREECLAMSIA. and its too early to deliver the little guy unless we absolutely HAVE to.
Solution? Yup. Bedrest. 24/7. Confined to my bed. The good news is that I don't have to be in the hospital yet. Although the threat of it keeps me following orders. Or mostly following orders. My labs have been stable for 2 weeks so I am still at home. For that, I am thankful.
The rest pretty much sucks.
Most of the time, my head hurts too bad to work much. Its really the craziest of headaches. I have "to do" lists for pages but can only do so much of it from this spot. And it turns out that husbands do not "nest." And their idea of "clean" and yours are somewhat different. And sometimes it is easier to be thirsty than to constantly have to bother someone. And who knew I would feel so guilty?
But I do know its necessary and for a good cause. And I am totally willing to do it. Just not be happy about it, I guess.
Bedrest. Dr. ordered torture. I hate it.
I am trying to have a good attitude. And think of the little guy and how much it will all be worth it in the end. But really...I am over it. And a little bit bitter.
I mean...I was cruising alone just fine. Better than fine even. This pregnancy was a breeze compared to my first. Little to no vomitting. 14 hours days many days and I was doing A-ok. Work was going great. Dream job seemed to be in the pipe. Creeping up on law school graduation. Living the dream and thinking I could have a few more kids down the road.
WRONG.
25 weeks. Indescribable headache that would not go away. Skyhigh bloodpressure. Dr freaks. PREECLAMSIA. and its too early to deliver the little guy unless we absolutely HAVE to.
Solution? Yup. Bedrest. 24/7. Confined to my bed. The good news is that I don't have to be in the hospital yet. Although the threat of it keeps me following orders. Or mostly following orders. My labs have been stable for 2 weeks so I am still at home. For that, I am thankful.
The rest pretty much sucks.
Most of the time, my head hurts too bad to work much. Its really the craziest of headaches. I have "to do" lists for pages but can only do so much of it from this spot. And it turns out that husbands do not "nest." And their idea of "clean" and yours are somewhat different. And sometimes it is easier to be thirsty than to constantly have to bother someone. And who knew I would feel so guilty?
But I do know its necessary and for a good cause. And I am totally willing to do it. Just not be happy about it, I guess.
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